Motivational Monday…

So, after a full weekend in Yoga Teacher Training, Monday is usually “catch-up” day.  I find myself spending too much time trying to reciprocate on Twitter, FB, Instagram, Pinterest or wherever I feel like I have not kept up.  Then I realized that I had neglected connections on here.  The actual blog.  This is where my heart was/has been/is.  The connection that I make to my readers is actually the thing I value the most.  If you go way back to my first posts, it’s about establishing a connection to you through my life with invisible diseases.

It did morph into a holistic type of connection…mind, body, social fan page, because I felt like we needed a variety of ways to stay in touch; however, please know that if you comment here, like here, share here, this is where I feel it the most.  My blog to me, is like ripping parts of my soul out and pressing it onto paper for you to read.  At first, it hurt.  It left me raw and exposed to the world.  You know I have issues.  You know I’m not perfect.  You know I’m a hot mess at times.  And…it’s okay.  Nothing fell apart.  I didn’t die from this experience.  In fact, I think it made me stronger. 

So my friends, my message today is simple.  Don’t be afraid to make real connections.  Some will not understand.  And that’s okay.  Everyone is brought into your life for a reason.  They all have lessons to teach us, and some might sting.  Some might walk away from your life because the truth is just too big for them to understand.  The only way to keep on living with that truth, is to remember that being you is the real lesson.  Being real.  The connections you make out of that are far more substantial.  I’d like to end with this piece shared by one of my readers, and hopefully you can read the whole poem.  It’s still amazing after all this time.  If poem, by Rudyard Kipling.  Thank you for the reminder friend.

Motivational Monday…I’m back!

Here is what I am pondering today:

People will let you down.  People will tell you things and never follow through.  People will anger you.  People will disappoint you.  People will be human.  That’s right.  Human.  It hurts.  I know, but learn to love them anyway.  Because maybe, just maybe, you’ve let someone down.  You’ve told somebody something and didn’t quite get around to doing what you said.  You’ve angered someone.  You’ve disappointed someone.  I know, its shocking, but at some point in your life, you have done those things because you aren’t perfect either.

So when it happens to you, take three deep calming breaths.  Pull yourself back from whatever emotion is running through your body and focus on something nice that person has done lately (I know you can find something if you try).  Move beyond the emotion that threatened to overpower reason.  Pull back just a little and look at the whole picture.  Maybe they didn’t tell you their husband just lost his job…so they appear angry at you, but that’s because you were there at the time.  Maybe they ask you a question, and no matter what is asked, you feel like it’s a personal attack.  Why?  Is it because you feel competitive around them or are you usually thinking something negative about them already?

Life is hard…but it’s harder when we constantly look for the bad.  When we suspect enemies are hiding behind every face.  What if, just for a moment, we embraced the human side of our acquaintances and only held ourselves accountable for our emotions and reactions.  Hmmm.  It’s really hard to do.  I know it is, because it’s something I am constantly working on.

Motivational Monday…

Hello there, it’s me.  Your friendly guide to getting the most out of your Monday.  Today I am going to share a little video a friend of mine put together.  Be warned…I don’t know what I am doing.  But at least maybe it appears I did…not sure as I had the camera in the wrong place, and it was using my phone, etc.  Okay, no more stalling.

Aimee’s interview seemed to go well.  But as I watched it, I judged myself.  Ack, do I sound dumb?  Why does my face look puffy?  It does look puffy.  Am I puffy today?  Wait, none of my thoughts are serving me right now and this was not the point.  I discovered I don’t like being on video…which is why I decided to actually do this video interview.  I know it’s crazy, but I do things I don’t like to get them over with. 

To give you a point of reference, when I was 14 years old, I stepped on a snake…in Florida.  I tried to be calm, but it wrapped around my ankle and bit me.  Number 1, I was not calm.  Number 2, I hate snakes.  Number 3, I could swear it had a diamond-shaped head.  And then I screamed.  Long story, I spent 4 hours in the hospital having tests.  I was at a hotel with an inclosed, but open pool area when this happened.  When I became a volunteer years later at my favorite Living Museum, guess what I did?  GUESS!!  It was amazingly scary.  I had to reach into a pillowcase and pull out a………….SNAKE.  But it was a black rat snake.  Yes, it was the scariest thing perhaps in the universe to me.  I learned all about snakes though.  And how the scales are actually like fingernail material and blah, blah, blah.  But I just wanted to NOT be afraid.  I even held a corn snake.  So now, when I take my daughters to the museum, and she looks at a tiny green snake on a limb and says “Mom isn’t he the cutest?”  I say “Sure baby.  But we are not getting a snake.  Not even a little one.” 

So to change your thoughts, you have to embrace the pain maybe for a minute, then turn away from that by changing the pattern of your thoughts.  I decided I didn’t want to be deathly afraid of stupid snakes because there are LOTS around Virginia.  I wanted to be mildly interested in them as another living creature, but you know, we don’t have to be like BFFs or anything.  So change snakes to pain and you have me taking yoga teacher training even though I was afraid I couldn’t keep up.  You have me challenging my mind to change my thoughts from focusing on pain all the time, to moments where I am NOT in pain.  Aha.  To moments where I am living in pain, but in those moments, I can still create my own happiness.  I can still focus on what is working and less and less on what is NOT working.  I can focus on helping lead others out of their pain and darkness.  I can reach my hand right in that pillowcase and take life out and say “Aha!!!  I got you.  You aren’t as scary as I thought.  Maybe you’ll bite me, but not this time.  Not this time.” 

And that my friends, is how to change your thoughts.

Motivational Monday…for the UNbroken

Hey friends…you know how last week on the Facebook fan page for my blog, I asked you a question?  I asked you to tell me what kind of “invisible disease” you had.  Many times, we feel so alone with these diseases, because they are in fact, not visible to people looking in at our lives.  But this statistic came from the link I posted: 96% of people with chronic medical conditions live with an illness that is invisible. 

I don’t really think we are alone.  So let’s say you didn’t get your disability and you have 5, maybe 6 illnesses on that list.  Guess what?  It happens.  I decided it meant something different.  I decided it meant that I was supposed to find a flexible job working from home and helping others.  Don’t be discouraged.  You have a few options.  You can continue the fight without a lawyer.  I have been told that’s why I never got anywhere.  You can get a lawyer.  Or you can move on.  Moving on is not giving up.  I just want to give you permission in case you needed to hear that.  I know all the excuses in your head.  I know all the what ifs.  But do not stay in that place of despair.  Make a plan.  Work on it.  Move on.

So now I am in yoga teacher training, and it’s hard.  Very, very hard emotionally and physically.  I doubt my path at times.  I do.  But as my friend said yesterday, okay really paraphrasing, if we didn’t have emotions or feelings we’d be like Data from Star Trek.  He was an android who was unable to feel emotion or understand certain human responses.  We don’t want to live like that.  So acknowledge the feelings you are having, and work the plan.  Whatever the plan is.  If you don’t have plan, write something down.  Just a few things.  It can be as simple as get out of bed, and get dressed.  Get to the store today.  Fibro friends, this is an important plan.  You know this.  Get out of your pajamas…says the blogger still in pajamas.  But you know what I’m talking about!!!  You do.

Next on your list, make a new friend.  Okay, this one is hard.  Why is this hard?  It is hard for people who feel alone, because opening ourselves up and getting vulnerable with new people is like going to a new doctor for us.  We hate having to start at the beginning and tell our story.  I know this.  You know this.  Stop ignoring this one.  So here’s how you can go about doing this.  Re-evaluate who is in your life right now.  Who checks in on you…who checked out on you.  Those people who checked out of your life during your hardest times, they have left you space for new people.  I know it sucks, believe me I do.  But it’s time to be honest.  Those people didn’t understand anyway.

So start a new practice.  Get your list out.  What did you like to do before all the bumps?  For me, I already liked yoga, so I looked into restorative, which was low-key.  I researched other types of exercises for fibromyalgia, and decided I didn’t feel like going to water aerobics, but if you like that, put that down.  if you liked gardening put it down.  Don’t think about the pain, I know you automatically went to “I can’t get down there and bend.” Stop.  So here’s a neat idea, look up community free classes or workshops in your area.  You can also container garden and not have to bend.  See how I did that?  Put it at eye level.  Flower arranging?  Do it.  Whatever it is that old you did, write it down.

So guess what’s going to happen during this process of thinking about other things that you now have room for in your life…you are going to make new friends.  You are going to feel better, and you are going to feel less alone.  Anytime you have a negative thought, push it away and back to the things you are doing that are positive.  That are a step in the right direction.  So when you get that letter in the mail from social security…don’t be afraid to open it.  Make a plan.

Motivational Monday…for fibro

One side of my body is wearing a tightly laced corset today.  During my morning yoga, a spasm went from my left shoulder to this spot in my back that is as tight as a rubber band pulled to snapping point.  In my head, I tried desperately to push the thoughts of discomfort away as it was the first part of my yoga practice this morning, but little wisps of thought already went past my carefully laid defenses.  I focused intently on the voice of my instructor and pushed past the spot.  Listening to her speak, and breathing.  Always breathing and focusing on the breath.  I have become so focused on the breath that it does allow me to get through my practice even when pain sets in.

You see, I am trying to prove a ridiculous point…to myself.  I am not on any of the drugs that doctors prescribe for fibromyalgia due to my underlying genetic disease hemochromatosis.  One year ago in February, a rheumatologist told me he would be nervous to put me on medicine that could perhaps harm my liver.  That was enough for me to decide to stay the course of all-natural supplements and work through immense pain using a series of steps I researched.  You are welcome to read the tab on the top of this blog called Vitalize You.  Those are some of the steps I took.  I also enlisted in the help of a full functional medicine approach, and used Applied Kinesiology, which I have touched on here.

This last step is more intense yoga than I thought was possible for me.  You can sit there and come up with one million and one reasons why it won’t work.  But if you can only come up with one reason, and one reason only, of why it will work, then take the chance.  That one reason is this…what have you got to lose?  No seriously.  I’ll be in pain you say.  Ummm, hello.  You already are.  I can’t move much right now.  Of course you can’t…because you don’t.  It will get worse..before it will get better.  Yes, but at least it will get better.  And trust me on this, you have to believe it will.

So today, in the car home from yoga, I thought, well that could have gone better for my body.  But so what…I went.  I showed up.  I was there.  I almost cried in the car and then I said to my head, stop this.  Think of where you were a year ago.  No really.  Stop and think.  You moved like an old woman, you were in immense pain, and you saw no end to that pain…ever.  Today, you were in pain in a few areas, true, but you were working your muscles.  You were doing things and you felt good afterward…just not as good as you hoped.  The knot didn’t go away like you thought, but it is loosening.  Do. Not. Give. Up.

Being terribly real…

On the journey to motherhood, I didn’t pause to consider what it was going to be like after I had my daughters.  I never thought for a second about play dates, getting out of the house with two babies, or how I would live in pajamas…for a long time.  The only things I thought of were the sweet baby smell, and the adorable girl clothes all ready to put on my first baby.  It was easy for a while.  I know that sounds crazy, but it was.  She was a good baby after I got over the initial “How the heck do you breast feed right?” phase.  I was constantly tired, but it was a good tired.  One I could live with.  Until the day I found out I was pregnant with baby number 2.  The first one was only 9 months old.  Wow.  Was not expecting that.  Ha.

So fast forward to having 2 baby girls.  The struggle was real as they say.  I came up with the idea of play dates to get out of the house.  With moms I had never met before in my life.  It was wonderful, and I could reflect on that bonding experience for a long time, but what I want to get across is this point.  When we finally got past the pleasantries and being “real” with each other, it was a much better experience.  If you look past the cleaning like a mad woman before anyone came over for a play date (dumb thinking).  Making sure I had the right snacks out, and everything was prepped and ready so it appeared things were effortless.  Again, how dumb was that?  Not being embarrassed when my girls wanted to just sit and eat snacks instead of playing.  Like you can control your kids.  Hahaha.  When they are toddlers (new mom thinking is warped).

So as I have gotten older, and I visit my friends with kids, guess what y’all??  We don’t clean before anyone comes over.  We don’t.  It’s liberating.  I might be in something nice-ish, or I might be in yoga pants.  We don’t pretend that our lives are perfect.  And that the snacks float out to the table magically.  Although that would be pretty cool.  Heck, we don’t even know what we’re having for dinner half the time.  Or if there really is food in the house.  Some nights, it’s every human for themselves.  But why did it take so long to learn this?

When you meet someone, I know it takes a long time to get “real”.  Unless you quickly peel back the layers and say, “Oh there you are.  I like this you.  The real you.”  So if you are hurting and in pain because you think no one understands you, I want to ask you this, have you given them a chance yet?  Are you still the clean house, perfect food, immaculate outfits, and everything is nice and shiny, because believe me sister, life isn’t always nice and shiny.  Find the friends who are going to be there with you in the trenches and scream “Go for cover!” when the next life crisis is thrown at you.  Those are the ones who matter the most.  The ones who lift you up when life gets real.

 

Motivational Monday…

Sometimes, you do the hard things first just to get them out-of-the-way.  Other times, you do them last…putting them off until you can wait no longer.  Many people have been broken by the “hard things” as they carry them around.  Yesterday in my yoga teacher training, we talked about a burden I still carry.  I have gone through a different sort of spiritual awakening and not everyone is going to be there when I am done.  I know this.  That being said, it doesn’t matter how much you know, how much you prepare yourself mentally for making the hard choices, it still hurts when people closest to you don’t understand, or worse, decide they know what’s best for you in your life and how you should handle a situation. 

Because let’s say that the roles were reversed.  Would you know how to handle their pain?  Their righteousness?  Their “programming” as it appears?  Chances are, you would not.  It never fails to amaze me how many ugly things I see out there on the internet or social media platforms.  One in particular happened just last week.  An old friend from high school posted something he found funny…in defense of being gay.  You know where this is going.  He is openly gay…some people from our old way of life were programmed to think differently.  It ended up being rather sad…for the hater.  Not my friend.  He handled it well.

No matter what you think about another person’s way of life or beliefs, I want you to stop for a moment and think about what they have to carry through life.  Then think about what you are carrying.  Are you helping carry this person’s burden and do you genuinely care about them or are you just trying to persuade them that your beliefs are better than theirs thus adding to their burden??  Getting into an argument on social media and trying to persuade the masses about your way of thinking and how it’s been handed down from the mouth of God Himself helps absolutely no one.  What it does instead is send your ego forward.  You are no longer thinking with your heart…because if you were, you would understand that this person is carrying their own stuff the best they can and you pointing out their faults is clearly trying to break them down.  And honestly, I don’t think God instructs this way.  It’s time we stop doing that to each other my friends.

Motivational Monday…

Do you find yourself second guessing everything in your life?  Is it difficult to make a decision and stick to it?  Do you think everything is about you?  Well, then this post is for you…not about you.  I recently read that our minds can think up to 50,000 thoughts per day.  Half of them are things we have thought before.  I added that part, but you know it’s true.  So today, I read this post by someone who was sad about something.  And while I get the idea of being sad about something someone did…what you must remember at all times is that their actions are really about them.  This is the number one hardest thing to get through your 50,000 thoughts.

First, you start to think about yourself and what you did to the person.  Next you get mad.  You start to blame the person.  Then you ponder if you should message them.  Something like, hey girl, I saw your post.  I hope I didn’t do or say anything to upset you.  Now unless you just got off the phone with them and said something like an old fashioned “Your Momma” joke that didn’t go over how you planned, well, you know this isn’t about you.  It’s really about them.  What you have to decide, right now, at this very moment, is do you want this to be about you?  Do you feel guilty for something you did?  If the answer is you were just talking about them behind their backs to someone, well I can see how you think it’s about you.

Nine times out of ten, this is not about you.  But let’s say it is.  Who cares?  I mean really.  Make a decision to be happy…not to let it get under your skin, and move on to the next thought.  Like, what am I going to eat for dinner?  Because in the end, you can control that.  You can’t really control what this other person is doing or saying.  How they act is up to them.  How you react is up to you.

The yo-yo mood…

So it just takes one thing…just one for me to start my yo-yo mood.  The other day, I was doing whatever random things I do on the computer.  Mostly making quotes for a few pages I run, and a friend sent me this article in a message called It’s Not Fibromyalgia.  I read her message and was surprised that she too suffered…but when I started reading this post, my head went to the place it goes to when people write about their experiences.  It kind of goes like this when people talk about how bad it is living with pain…I hear you sister.  I understand this.  It sucks, but damn this is depressing to read in someone’s voice other than my own.  Do I sound like this?  Crap. This is messed up.  Sigh.  More depressing things I have been through.  I could be her…she could be me.  Wait.  Wait a minute.  She just said something I need to hear.  Someone actually listened to her.  Hold on and back up to that part because the rest is the same as my life.  Except this part.  This part where she finds HOPE. 

So I get to the symptoms, you know the part where invisible diseases can’t be seen except for the fact that I have lots of those symptoms…and doctors don’t really know what to do…so I kind of stopped talking to them about what’s going on.  And I get to the part where she prayed she had this thing because it actually explains something.  Black mold.  Wow.  Who knew?  Well, obviously someone did, but not anyone else most of us have ever come across in our long line of 18 different specialists.  So I messaged my one advocate in this fight…Dr. Marion who I have written about.  And she says yes.  Yes we can do this test.

For those of you who might be new, I gave up on regular doctors after getting diagnosed with fibromyalgia by a man who was a nervous wreck and a top rheumatologist in the area.  He said he understood why I wouldn’t want to be on pharmaceuticals given the side effects of the “medicines” and the possibility of a liver compromise with hereditary hemochromatosis (see my tab at the top about that genetic disorder).  Not to mention the other possible complications with those “drugs”.  I decided to go all-natural using plant based phytotherapy (see my tab Vitalize You at the top).  So that brings me to where I am.  No doctors listen to my intuition.  None.  I know for a fact that something deep down has made so many things spin off…and it’s only a matter of time before we find the link.  So if this isn’t it…we keep going.  But it’s one more thing to cross off.  I will let you know what happens.

Hello new friends…

Hi friends, if you are new over here and want to read my story, you can use the side button to go all the way to some of my first posts.  If you want to really “hear” my story, the recording of the Talk Radio Blog show is on the post before this one.  It’s your choice.  I know it sounds long, but I talk about invisible diseases as pertain to me, so it might be interesting to you.  Lastly, I use a method of clean eating…no processed foods, no fast food, not white sugar, no flour, etc.  And supplements to stay healthy.  See the tab on the blog here called Vitalize You and it basically tells you just a few of the products I use.  I opted not to be on Lyrica or Cymbalta due to my research.

Next up, I will be extremely busy with my new yoga teacher training classes and more to come on that I’m sure.  I am using these methods instead of “traditional” and so far I have lost 18 pounds and gone down 3 sizes just from getting rid of the toxins that my body was reacting to with autoimmune.  I have gotten rid of the bloat and the IBS symptoms I used to experience from food “attacking” me.  I still have my bad days…as does everyone, but I am making progress.

Feel free to message my FB page Vitalize You with supplement/weight loss questions.