Motivational Monday…

It’s hard to write a Motivational Monday post when all you can think of is how un-motivated you are when in pain.  But that being said, I got up just as I always do and struggled through my morning routine.  I use Samuel L. Jackson words in my head just to actually get through my “routine”.  My hair was on my nerves this past weekend because who has time to deal with that mess.  So I cut that off.  Now it’s time to get down to business.

I went out Saturday morning to meet a new group of ladies.  I don’t actually feel like I have that many friends.  I felt kind of bad ass with my new short haircut.  Like I could go all Matrix on whoever or whatever pisses me off.  I think it goes with my mood.  Don’t mess with me Pain, I have things to do.  Don’t make me cut you.  Like Pain has become some nemesis.  Maybe I should play Darth Vader music.  Anyway, so after that, Fatigue wanted a piece of me, but I just didn’t have time.  I had things to do.  A college buddy was in town and I said I was going to meet up with him.  It was my college homecoming and I had places to be.

I made it to the tailgating party in my high heel black boots, skinny jeans and black shirt.  Take that.  I enjoyed hanging out with my peeps and then there was the “after party” at a beverage facility nearby.  I was drinking water to better hydrate myself, but there was also free, and very cheap, wine.  UGH.  I can have one glass said an old friend.  Why aren’t you drinking?  Said another.  People.  Chillax.  Here, have this deep fried oreo, said one more.  Nope.  I can’t.  Not if you don’t want me to be sick.  I really hadn’t planned on explaining that the Aimee they knew, ahem, just you know, a few years ago, is not exactly the same one now.  If it’s not gluten free, and refined sugar free, I am not eating it.

So yesterday, I had one more thing I was doing.  As luck would have it, I was able to make it.  I was dragging, but I made it.  So guess who is paying for it today?  Me.  Yup.  Pain, Fatigue, and maybe even their buddy Depression tried to visit this morning.  Depression was like “Don’t you wish you were normal again?  Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to dance with your friends without having to pay for it later?  And of course the old, it must be terrible not to be able to eat real food.”  So in my best Samuel L. Jackson voice I told it to SHUT the F up.  I heated up my heating pads.  I made my hot tea.  I took my last Relief…which is my product as I am only on all-natural, and I called my momma.  ha:)  Who by the way, knows I use the F word to relieve my pain, and while I wasn’t raised that way she would want you to know, she also knows that if that is the worst thing I ever do, it’s ok.  Because there is this wonderful thing called grace we can extend to others to let them know we understand that we are ALL human “beans”.  And human beans have emotions.  Even if the “they” who does research claims we only have 4, we all know that’s wrong.  Have you ever met an angry woman?

courage

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On being friends…

I saw some photos pop up in my news feed which reminded me I needed to message my friend again.  I had been trying to get together with her since February.  I saw the last date of my message was May 1st saying I wanted to catch up.  There were several messages before that as well.  Me asking her if she had time to get together for her birthday, and other things.  The last date night had been in December or January and we had a really good time.  We went to a local restaurant and stayed longer than we planned.  We laughed until tears came out of the corner of our eyes.  Every time we get together as couples, we have an amazing time.  I even mentioned it would be great to do a couples weekend trip.

Let me back up a few years though…eleven and a half to be precise.  When I had my two girls 18 months apart I thought my social life was pretty much over because I was not sure how to manage a toddler and breastfeeding a new baby.  I thought I would probably be stuck in the house until I weaned my baby.  After 6 months of that, I could no longer take that my favorite thing in the world was a trip to Target, because it meant seeing people.  I didn’t care if I had to figure out how to get the horrendous double stroller out and the little carrier to fit in there by myself.  I had recovered from the c-section by that point even though I still had pain where I had been cut (another story).  I had this brilliant idea to set up a playgroup and advertise it for free in our neighborhood letter.

MOMS poured in.  I got about 25 e-mails or so at first.  I couldn’t believe it.  I had the first meeting at our “clubhouse” and that’s when I met ladies who would be life savers for me at that point in my life.  After a few weeks of this clubhouse madness, a few dropped off.  That was great.  We were left with a core group at this point and then there were about 9 of us.  I decided to do a rotation of houses schedule.  Every single Tuesday at 10 a.m. we met at someone’s house.  We got close.  We laughed.  We cried.  We survived.  We were the most eclectic group ever and the stories I could tell…well, I loved every single minute of it.  When we started falling apart for one reason or another, I was extremely sad.  Some moved due to the military.  One left her husband and then didn’t talk to us.  A few of us remained. 

When my closest two friends from the group moved away, I was sad.  Very sad, but I knew it was going to happen.  This was before the “rise” of Facebook, so I know I sound old, but we had e-mail.  I was happy to have that.  Years later one of those friends magically moved back to the same area.  I was ecstatic!  We could get together again like old days.  Time melted away when I saw them.  Then yesterday, I got a message (I took out names):

Hi, I am working my way through letting everyone know (that doesn’t know already) we are leaving tomorrow. We have Sold our house, fingers crossed it all goes through. It all happened much quicker than we thought.  Husband is working more and more in Europe so it made sense to move back. I think it is now or never with the girls…. I am really sorry I didn’t get to catch up with you before we left but we just had so many things to do. The dog left today she was sent on the plane this morning. I have your details and when I get my new email address I will send it too you. So if you ever make that trip over then maybe you could pop over and see us.

So if for some reason you are reading this friend, the reason the only word I typed back was “wow” is because this hurts.  I got a Facebook message.  A message.  I want that to really sink in.  I got a Facebook message telling me you sold your house and the only reason you sent it is because I sent you a message asking for another date night soon.  I feel like an awesome friend right about now.  So girlfriends reading this, if you have a friend who values your time together, please make time for them.  I know that your children’s lives are busy.  I know that there is soccer, swimming, field hockey, ballet, gymnastics, cheering and whatever else you have your kids in.  But if you have become so busy with “life” that you no longer have time for friends, one day you will regret it.

So when I go to my kitchen window, I will look at the little pot you gave me when you left the first time and think of our time together with a smile…

Friendship

 

 

Motivational Monday…”Grit”

What makes others succeed in business or even life, while others do not?  Grit.  Plain and simple.  I really like this idea from http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit  on how we need to teach our children that the brain grows and changes in response to challenge.  When you don’t believe that failure is a permanent condition, you are more likely to persevere.  Wow.  Let’s think about that shall we.  This relates to my last post as well.  Don’t you wish that some of your friends had more “grit” than they currently have?  Why?  Because it would help them grow.  We have to be willing to fail in order to succeed.  How crazy is that thought??

As a teacher, I saw the students who had true grit accomplish many things.  Perhaps I had it as well because there were many times my first year of teaching I wanted to quit.  Many, many, many times.  Teaching in a very difficult neighborhood, in an area known for poverty and police tape was scary.  Seeing the kids you taught overcome obstacles in their lives, now that took grit on their part.

You can start over again with lessons learned.  Just because it didn’t work out the way you thought it would the first time does NOT mean you are a failure.  You have learned something new.  So we need to teach our children the meaning of failure and pulling yourself back up again.  So on this last week of school, if you are a teacher reading this, I want you to know we have all been there.  Every single teacher I know has had a year he or she wanted to quit.  Even if only for a second.  It’s okay to think that way.  As long as you know you are not alone and that next year is a brand new year to try again.  Start over with new plans, new ideas, and new ways of doing things because let’s face, the curriculum changes almost every year anyway.  So rest easy this summer, and make a plan for showing your students some true grit come fall.  You’ll be ready.

FailureUltimately there is no such thing as failure. There are lessons learned in different ways.

Don’t stop…believing

If life were a person, I would slap him or her.  Hard.  So let me back up.  Friday night I went out to chat with some friends I hadn’t seen in a long time.  My buddy is an awesome photographer and has worked on some pretty cool things out west and was in town.  I’d put his link here except for the fact that he is super private, and I didn’t tell him I was writing this.  Ha.  Anyway, the night before I was talking about all my old friends and it occurred to me that most of them were guys.  We were like Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch…and we rode our bikes around, well bicycles, but still.  Later on, in high school, some had cars and perhaps one in particular was old enough to pass for 21 at the 7-11.

Everyone has that one friend, ha, who perhaps buys things like ohhh I don’t know, Boone’s Farm maybe.  Not judging the 80’s or 90’s are you?  No.   Anyway, so we were sitting around telling stories and it was nice.  It was nice to see how we can change, but remain the same at heart.  I always knew they were good guys and so when I heard one of them was coming into town, I knew I couldn’t wait until the next time.  A lot can happen through the years.  As we got a round of beverages, we raised our pints to a friend who was no longer with us.  We talked a bit about how we were still kind of mad at him for not reaching out (I actually wrote about this when it happened last year).  We lost a good man to a fight he could have beat…depression was the enemy and if we had known, surely we could have changed the tide on that battlefield.

So this year my brother’s circle of friends have learned about that as well.  Yesterday, my brother lost a friend to hopelessness and surely her friends are saying the same thing.  It’s too fresh right now, but in a year her friends will probably still be mad.  Her friends will be telling the stories of things they did.  And her friends will look at each other and make the kind of eye contact that says, I’m glad you’re here friend to talk about this with me.  Don’t hide how you feel when this happens.  Get it out.  Reach out to who is left behind.  And don’t stop believing that your life is worth fighting for at all costs.  Don’t end your chapter right as your luck was about to change.  DON’T.  Because your friends will be lifting a pint to you after all and saying how much they miss you.  Instead of that, be there with them.  Clinking the glass and saying I am so glad I have you all.  I am glad I called you that day.

Cherish

Words of a poet…

On the Facebook fan page today, I salute the writer Maya Angelou.  There are so many beautiful quotes from her, that I really would have a hard time choosing just one; however, the one I decided to make was something many people struggle with.

Keep your head held high and do your thing.  You know the truth of a situation in your heart, and that is all that matters.  If you truly keep replaying the events, write them down on paper, and burn them.  YES.  BURN them.  I DO know how hard this is, trust me, but I often counsel many friends about things beyond their control.  The number one thing is to be able to move forward and to remember some people come into your life to teach you things.  It might be a lesson you were not ready to learn, but now that you have learned it, let go and keep going.  Rest in peace Dr. Angelou.  You taught us many things.

 

On being Scorpio…

Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t so Scorpio.  Here are some things about being a Scorpio which I find to be true.

Do not try to manipulate a Scorpio.  They can smell it a mile away.  This is so me.  I know what you are trying to do.  Just tell me the truth.  Here is what I need…it works so much better that way.

Scorpios are tenacious and very stubborn, so much so, that if you think they have finally given up, think again.  They’re coming back with a plan B.  Yes!  I love this truth.  It’s always time for plan B, and C.

You have little to no patience with the superficial sort as a Scorpio.  Bingo.  I’m not talking about wanting to look good so you feel good here.  I’m talking about needing to hide you and your 1,000 new profile photos.

HARD truth…being able to know what’s happening without anyone telling you by just fitting the pieces together.    This one makes it very hard on us because when you lie about what’s going on, we know.  We JUST know.

Introspective and independent.  A Scorpio often withdraws to handle problems, stress, and other life drama ALONE.  We have to do this our way.  Period.  You either understand or you don’t.  For us, there is no middle ground.

Once I deem you as untrustworthy, you become a mere acquaintance.  Never again a friend.  Very, very true.  You will also see less of me.  It’s just the way it is.

Number one sign of a Scorpio, they can smell a lie a mile away.  Beware.  Scorpios tend to be excellent judges in character.  They can see and hear what you do not say.  It is that point, that one point, that you must remember in ALL your dealings with a true Scorpio.

I am intense, loyal, demanding, loving, truthful, passionate, sensitive, and at times, emotional.  All of this leads up to fun times.  I actually like other Scorpios because once we have had our say, we are all good.  Most of the Scorpios I have met would rather tell you what’s on their mind than tell you a lie.  I love talking to other Scorpios because we seek the bottom line.  Don’t make up some fluff to smooth things over…we see right through it.

I can’t go back and change the past, but I can keep moving forward.  I don’t mind my hermit stages in life, because they are needed for growth.  I am slowly coming out of my last hermit stage, and I don’t regret any choices made while there.

Move Forward

 

 

Motivational Monday…

Have you ever met someone and you instantly connected?  Some deep spiritual level recognizes a kindred spirit.  Maybe they put into words how you feel or you start to say something and you say the same thing at the same time.  You know you can trust this person and things are going to be okay.  They are authentic.

Authentic means real or genuine.  Not copied or fakeTrue and accurate.  These types of people draw me like a moth to a flame.  Call it being intuitive, but if I get the feeling I am being lied to, talked about in secret codes, used only when needed, or kept around for other purposes I really do not want you in my life.  Period.  Life is about choices, and if you are reading this and nodding your head because someone came to mind, you know what you have to do.  Put some distance between you and those folks.

I once counseled this young woman to find new friends because she kept saying I get the feeling they are lying to me.  I ask them what they are doing, but they are always busy.  They don’t answer my calls, or respond to my private messages and I know they have seen them…it tells me so right there on the screen.  Not only that, they ALL keep secrets from each other.  Not one of them really likes the others anyway because no one truly trusts anyone.  All they do is talk about the others behind their backs.  Ummm, hello.  You already know what you have to do.

Others