Heal me now…

Do you ever have one of those conversations with yourself about getting better?  What about doing things in life?  Lately, I have been saying a few things over and over in my head when I wake up.  If it is going to be a particularly challenging day, one which involves actually leaving the house, I know, but true, I say to myself that I can do it.  I am getting better.  I do that with things I put off.  Like right now.  I want to cancel something tomorrow.  Sorry if you are reading this friend, but it’s true.  Seeing you is difficult so I avoid it.  Haha, before someone reads into this, this is a type of chiropractic help I go to…applied kinesiology AND it is difficult.  So I put it off.  It hurts.  A LOT.  Like my mom can hear me in the other room when I go.  And that’s with me gritting my teeth.

I told my friend I was going to slap her on Friday if she pushed on me one more time.  And I actually LIKE her.  She knows.  It doesn’t hurt her feelings…because she asks me to come back.  So normal folks can plan something a few days in a row.  I normally can’t.  Not everyone gets that.  I also can’t do cold much anymore as my hands don’t want to bend which honestly just pisses me off.  So I go out anyway every Thursday and do my job and ignore it.  A girl tried to give me some excuse a few weeks ago and I looked her straight in the eye and I said “Listen.  I get being “sick”.  I do.  But you don’t have to act like it.  We have a job to do.”  End of story.

I have to be practical and blunt.  I can’t even accept excuses from myself so I sure as hell don’t want to hear them from other people.  There are many people I have had to cut out of my life because they don’t understand and they still aren’t honest with me…or themselves for that matter.  So if you are reading this and you have an invisible disease, please please stop feeling sorry for yourself today.  You can feel sorry yourself maybe once a month.  Tops.  I give you that day.  But not every single day.  If you are in a “support” group where it’s everyday you are complaining, that will become your life.  Get. Out.  Leave the group.  Seriously.  One day.  And one day only.

This message was brought to you from Cher.  Like in Moonstruck.  I am virtually slapping you.  Snap out of it!!



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