One of the reasons I like Momastery so much is the opening blurb:
YOU BELONG HERE.
Momastery is an open window. It’s a place to take a deep breath. It’s a place to drop out and tune in. It’s a place to stop striving, stop competing, stop suspecting, stop hiding. To hear and tell truth. Mother Teresa said, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that We Belong to Each Other.” If we find peace here- it’s because we remember.
One of my internal girlfriend laws is that we do this^^^very thing. Sometimes we all forget this. We are so used to keeping whatever mask we wear in place that when we finally get a moment with our true girlfriends, the ones God put in our lives for a reason, we sometimes forget we don’t have to pretend anymore. I like to think I don’t pretend because it isn’t really in my character, but I am sure there are times I have.
Sometimes when I go to my child’s school to volunteer, I see others wearing their carefully woven cloaks of “normal mom” they grab when they go up to school. We don’t always know what’s hiding behind the cloth and sometimes it’s difficult to be the first one to lower it. We are often afraid of the dreaded “stick-my-foot-in-my-mouth” disease that affects 1 in 4 moms who try to be real.
The interesting thing about moms who live with illness is that honestly, we just don’t have time for this phase. I made a new friend recently and I think we cut through the cloak fairly effectively. That was until she asked me to schedule something on a regular basis. Not to appear like I was blowing her off I said “It’s difficult for me to tell you I can do this because I honestly don’t know how I’ll feel on any given day, but I would like to. So let’s try.”
The truth is easier. Plain and simple. There should never be a reason for you to make an excuse with a real friend. An excuse is just another way of not telling the truth. So we had a conversation last night and she told me her views on something and ended it with “I hope you’re not offended.” I thought about it for a second and said no. Why would I be? If someone has taken the time to explain to me how they see things, without making excuses about it, even if it isn’t exactly the way I see things, it’s okay.
Be a truth teller.