Forgive yourself…

You only have to look at the skin on my fingers to realize I might, erm, have some anxiety.  I was reading this long train of comments some of my friends wrote and I realized how it helps to just get it out.  To name what is bothering us.  I have never once regretted a single blog post.  Not even if others read into it.  They own that, not me.  Before “judging” me, they didn’t call me up and say, hey, you know I was wondering about what this part here meant.  Nope.  They also have anxiety, fear, and self-doubt and they let those things control them instead of love.

I think part of the problem can be explained in this quote passage:  Perfectionists are natural ruminators. Julia Cameron writes about this in “The Artist’s Way”:

“Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop–an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole. Instead of creating freely and allowing errors to reveal themselves later as insights, we often get mired in getting the details right. We correct our originality into a uniformity that lacks passion and spontaneity.”  That can be found in this slide-show about 15 Ways to Stop Obsessing.

Some people, no matter how wrong they are, would rather sit there in their wrongness than accept any responsibility for what happens…because they want to have the last word, or get the “details” right so you can know what you have done wrong.  Unfortunately, after being programmed this way for most of our lives, it takes a strong person to admit they were wrong to begin with.

Lastly, I despise the word judge because we all do it.  There.  I said it.  We do.  Now is the part where you are thinking, I never judge, blah, blah, blah.  I have never, ever met a person who did not even accidentally make a statement without knowing all the facts.  But you are not your thoughts, and it’s okay.  Maybe your mind went there for a second, and maybe it is still there.  The second, minute, or even hour isn’t so bad.  It’s staying there that gets you in that loop.  Forgive yourself.  Forgive others.  Move forward.

forgive

 

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2 thoughts on “Forgive yourself…

  1. I would add that before I forgive another the behavior must stop. Especially if it is abusive behavior. It is important for children to know if someone is abusing them, forgiveness is not the first step. That goes for adults as well. Once you are removed from the abuser, many steps take place. Usually forgiveness comes after healing.

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