I was reading this blog post from a very popular source recently on parenting. It strikes me as funny when she says she has felt “judged” by other moms. When I read her articles, I think she has it together. She talked about how she always thought the worst of herself as a mom when she was out in public. It reminded me of what I do to myself.
Somehow, I am unable to take a compliment. I stutter thanks, but immediately point out all my imperfections and why I am not nearly as put together as I appear. I mention things that no one really cares about, except me. Things no one would even notice, if I would stop pointing it out. Nice cover up. “Well, you should see my stretch marks.” Why in the world would anyone want to? They are there. Move on. Great photo! “Thanks. I wish I had gotten my hair done before this picture. It wouldn’t look like such a hot mess.” Really? Who are you kidding. You hate to do your hair now…probably some trauma from the 80’s and 90’s. Don’t look back. Love my sunglasses? “Oh, it’s because they are hiding the bags under my eyes.” Why can’t you just take the compliment and run with it??
A while ago, I took a very enlightening class. It was about creativity. I realized I have it, but am afraid of using it. I often feel that I will be judged if I don’t write something in just the correct manner. If I mention things that everyone knows, but doesn’t want to accept, will it sound bad? Once I learn to leave Judge Judy outside, in the car, or far away from me, my creativity seems to flow much better. I also find that in those moments, I write the most amazing blog posts and people really connect with them. I am open and honest, and able to feel the positive energy. So, if you have been having far too many conversations with the “Judge” in you, take her away. She needs a vacation and so do you.
What people remember about you are often things you don’t even realize you have done for them. Not what you look like, if your house is clean, or if you lost weight recently. Those are the things YOU worry about.
“Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration.” ~Niccolo Machiavelli