Today’s random topic post is one that is almost impossible for me. I work very hard at creating stillness. That sounds ridiculous to some degree, but many of you are nodding your heads. Whenever my life is surrounded by chaos, which is pretty much every single day, I desperately seek out time to be alone with my thoughts. I drive home without any music on. I read a book or THE book. I write a blog post about my thoughts. Usually, something will help calm the storm. This past week, I needed an entire weekend away to calm the hurricane. Luckily for me, my cousin called at just the right time.
I heard an amazing speaker during my weekend away. Her name is Lysa TerKeurst and she is a Christian Women’s speaker and author. Now, because I write my blog for people of all faiths, I will say that what I found amazing about the way she spoke and presented herself was how real she kept it. Sometimes we see someone and look only at the outside and think how put together they seem. How calm they appear or how professional they look. What we don’t realize is how scared they are on the inside. My aunt leaned over and whispered how she would be a nervous wreck if she had to speak in front of thousands, yes thousands, of women.
My thoughts swirl around in my head at hurricane force speeds. I crave stillness, yet find it impossible to grasp. I relive every single thing I have done that day if I think I could have handled it differently. The bottom line is that it is over. Done. Finished. Thinking about it will not change it, yet there I am in my bed staring at the clock, tossing and turning. I’m not sure what other people do to stop their own storms, but I am going away this weekend with my family. I am building a fire. I love fires and crisp fall weather. Hiking, nature, and the mountains are my bonus. Having NO cell reception is also a bonus. So, I try to get through each day and live for the weekend. That probably isn’t the best way to deal with things, but I am a work in progress. Last night I went to bed thinking about that very thing. I am an adult, but I am not finished working on myself yet. I am not where I want to be with my thoughts. If you are a work in progress as well, remember, you are never to old to change.
“The devil could change. He was once an angel and may be evolving still.” ~Laurence J. Peter