Some time ago, there was a situation with a certain family I know. People were being obtuse, and things were happening all around them that they did not see. It gradually escalated, and the person who was caught up in it kindly wrote an e-mail saying they were out of that situation until things changed. Now, a similar situation is happening to someone I know and they need to step away for their sanity (wait, that’s me).
When you can’t change someone or a situation because people around you are sticking their heads in the sand and ignoring all the bad parts of life, but praising the one good thing they managed to catch, it is frustrating. They claim they are defending the situation when in reality, they are enabling it. They are approving of it by their very silence. In order to prevent it from happening again, they would have to actually acknowledge the situation, which for some reason, they are not ready to do. The situation has all the power and controls them. They do not control the situation and it becoming more and more obvious.
It is necessary that you get your bearings when you are dealing with something like this and here are a few ways you can get control back over your life.
- Establish boundaries with the people responsible. “You can’t paddle another man’s canoe for him.” Isn’t it time they learned something for themselves?
- You can’t fix the problem, but you sure can fix how you react to it. Do not let it control you. Ignoring it DOES NOT make it go away. Thanks for trying. How’s that working out for you so far?
- Be consistent. Don’t let lies cover up the situation. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Someone taught me that once.
- Ask yourself if you are making FACT based decisions or excuses? Be real with yourself.
- Above all else, uphold your morals. If sticking your head in the sand makes you feel great and upholds your values, by all means continue.
I found this link about talking to people here. The people in my life don’t believe in talking. I suppose they are waiting for the situation to magically fix itself. Ha. Fat chance that will ever happen without your HELP.
“It’s not the load that breaks you down – its the way you carry it” ~Lou Holtz