What you don’t say…

I am good at listening to my friends.  I always “hear” what they don’t say, even if it is just a status update on Facebook.  I believe that no matter what, friends should be able to say what they mean to a true friend even if it hurts just a little.  I won’t say that I don’t get my feelings hurt, because I do, but I need honesty in my life.  If your friend has the ability to admit when he/she is wrong, that is a plus.  Humility is an important quality to have.  That being said, please don’t hold a grudge if you haven’t ever told your friend what is wrong in the first place.  As cool as it might be, I don’t have mind reading abilities…yet.

For those of you wondering if I am talking about anyone in particular, the answer is no.  I was thinking how cool and awesome my friends are, seriously, and wanted to point out some of their great qualities.  One of my friends has the ability to laugh at herself all the time…this makes me laugh in turn.  I really need that.  As a matter of fact, if she ever gets another job, I might have to go with her.  Hint.  Another friend has the generosity of a rich man with a poor man’s purse.  She is very open and giving.  If you start to say something about you wish you had xyz, she might try to make it happen.  Another friend has the ability to come up with ways to keep the kids entertained even if it makes a mess, and I love that about her.  They might not all realize what special gifts they have to offer, but I do.

If you ever start to experience a rough patch with a friend, grab a journal and write down what you are feeling so you can think about what might be going on.  Are you returning calls in a timely manner?  Do you have a new job or person in your life that might make them to feel left out?  Do they have some health issues they are not sharing?  I once got over a huge bump in the road with one of my dearest friends, and I’ll never forget the day she told me what was bothering her.  It wasn’t something I had any control over at all, but she had held it in for so long, it was a relief when she got it out.  Just remember, what you don’t say could actually be hurting your friendship, so go ahead and get it out.

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”  ~Thomas Jefferson

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6 thoughts on “What you don’t say…

  1. It kinda reminds me about some thing I read a while back about how no one is perfect and the best thing we can do for each other is to share our imperfections. Not only do we get support when we share with a friend, but we may be able to help someone else open up or at least feel comforted and less alone.

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  2. In the depths of sadness, sometimes it is hard to even talk to others. Despite the love you feel for them, or maybe because of it, you just don’t want them to see this rather unapeeling part of who you are. Which is part of the problem. It is hard to accept the parts of yourself that you don’t like, or would like to remove. Since lobotomies are not really en vogue right now you just have to slog through it until you come to a place where you can be a coherent, reasonable person who can talk to people without crying hysterically or being incredibly annoying. So knowing that people (wink) are thinking of me and reaching out to me is such comfort. I may not be able to reach back the way I want to, but know that you are there in my head, cheering me on and helping back to the top of the pit I have landed in. Hugs.

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    1. You are always thought of…and there is no part of a friendship with me that would ever back down from helping prop a friend up when she needs it. Even if I bug you everyday just so you know you are thought of:)

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