Tonight I went to tuck in my almost 10-year-old daughter. She said, “Mom, you know how when you’re a kid you can’t wait to get bigger, but then not really?” Boy did I ever. “Well, I can’t wait to be 12 so I can sit in the front seat.” Wow, I thought. I wish things were so simple. I have cherished every moment with my children since they were born. Each stage I loved the best. It’s quite alright if you enjoy some years better than others, but for me, I have breathed them all in and tried to commit every detail to memory. Each stage for them seems to represent a new time in my life as well.
Until recently, I thought I was sitting in the front seat of my life. Last week, I came to the epiphany that I was letting my health issues take over everything. I decided to change that and I am still focused on that course. As a child, my favorite pastime was walking in the woods. Pretty much from the time I woke up until the streetlights came on. This week was spent trying to get back to who I want to be. I went on a long 4 or so mile walk in the woods with my girls. We jogged a bit up hill and down hill, and stopped when we needed to rest. We looked at the sunlight coming through the leaves, the vines falling down the trees, and the beauty of the woods. My little one kept telling me how much fun she was having and the oldest didn’t complain, so it was a good walk. We played in the yard a bit, and I sat in the shade and watched them swing.
I tried hot yoga, where the room is heated to about 100 degrees and your muscles relax and sweat pours off your body. I enjoyed it oddly enough. I am going to continue. I am reading some “feel good” books and my thoughtful cousin sent me some inspirational music to lift my mood. I still have my little karma book, and I still read it. I have faith that I am sitting in the front seat. After all, I am old enough.
“The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life’s tragedy.” ~Oscar Wilde